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Virtual Insanity (Japan)

Oh. No. He. Didn’t. A dude in Japan has gotten all love struck about a pretty lady. Tiny problem, though: she’s not so much an in-the-flesh female as she is a video game character. And best of all (or worst of all, depending how you look at it), our Romeo has plans to hold a public wedding ceremony in Tokyo to let the world know he’s in L-O-V-E.

The man, who goes by the screen name SAL9000, “met” his lady love – named Nene Anegasak – while playing a video game called Love Plus. It the game, players woo characters with dates, gifts, and I-don’t-dare-find-out-what-else in the gamer’s version of social interactions. You know how I try not to judge? This is totally worth judging. I mean seriously, a wedding? Really? What do you even put on the registry?

What do you think: his heart has spoken or his synapses are broken?

Perfect Strangers (Johannesburg)

I’m all sing it, sister about reality programming. It’s totally angled and manipulated and not the least bit real, of course, but the entertainment factor drives out looming concerns about morality and all that jazz. At least, most of the time it does. I’m on the fence (though clinging desperately to home base) about Kaya FM, a South African radio station, producing a program called “Two Strangers and a Wedding.” It involves…wait for it…two strangers and a wedding. And I’m not sure I can get behind it.

As far as I can tell, a pack of brides go through weeks of eliminations until only only one desperate / super brave / adjective of your choice lady is left standing. Behavioral experts somehow wrangle a smattering of acceptable grooms (I can see the Craigslist ad now…) and the bride-to-be chats it up with the contenders on the phone and through email and texting, never once seeing any of the dudes’ shayna punims. Bridey McBridester makes her choice, the radio station stages a 300+ person dream wedding with media and celebrity guests, and two strangers get hitched.

I mean, agreeing to marry someone you have never met – without there being some kind of psych out or Double Dare-esq slime element – seems a bit, um, ridiculous. But then again, it isn’t a first: though this year’s couple won’t be rockin’ it until December 11, you can check out a video of last year’s contestants here.

What do you think: worth a try or you'd just die?

(photo of last year's winning couple courtesy of James Oatway)

Dance Dance Revolution (Unknown)

There's major reason to believe that this video's a scam, but regardless, one word: H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S.

What do you think: totally fake or mouth still agape?

Til Death Do They Start (United Kingdom)

Samantha Smyth, 25, and Paul Adams, 33, spent November 14 at the Wisbech General Cemetery. They, along with 40 of their closest friends and relatives, laughed and cried amid flowers and gravestones. But this was no funeral. It was Smyth and Adams’ wedding.

Well, that’s a little bit of a lie. (Because there’s a such thing as a little bit of a lie.) After finding out their marriage wouldn’t be legally recognized if they had the cemetery amid gravestones and ghouls, the couple had a civil ceremony and got the amen, sister blessing at the graveyard. Smyth told reporters that she and Adams “had a wonderful day and it was actually very peaceful and tranquil with all the graves and trees sweeping over the chapel.” If by “peaceful and tranquil” she means “creepy and… creepy,” then I am so on board.

It’s a little too Addams Family for my taste (which PS is now on Broadway), but I guess not everyone likes rainbows and puppies and ice cream. Oh, ice cream. Delicious.

What do you think: together to the grave or not your flave?

(photo courtesy of Masons News Service)

Horse Play (Australia)

Note to self: Don't ever hire a horse and carriage. Barring the fact that I dislike animals of all kinds (really, I just don't get the allure), there's also the little issue of controlling the beasts. So found an Australian bride who tried to board some horse-drawn wheels today and get to the church on time for her wedding ceremony. Those crazy horsies didn't care that it was her big lovey-dovey day and, rather than provide Ms. Bride with her grand entrance, instead bolted away. Without her. But only after tossing the driver from his throne. Sucks to his ass-mar.

The bandits ran wild on the streets until police wrangled them in. Word's mum on whether officers arrested the runaway escorts or simply issued a warning.

What do you think: story for their kids or this one's off the grids?

(photo, for illustrative purposes only, courtesy of Wikipedia)

Let’s Get Ready to RUMBLE (Florida)

If running over Grams with a reindeer seems too harsh, here’s an alternative: plan a wedding, piss off your guests, and have one of the crazy mofos put the old lady in a chokehold. Oh, and why not have someone break your father’s ribs—since the opportunity is there and all? Such was the rundown of Tasha Johnson and Markeith Brown’s recent wedding.

To be clear, it wasn’t their intention. According to media reports, the Browns had a nice, civil, nobody-got-punched ceremony. But during the reception, the groom high-balled it by throwing cash down on the dance floor as a treat to the kids. One of the guests who wasn’t so into the idea had words with the groom and his brother, who asked the party-pooper to leave. The fiz-ight escalated and somehow became a 40-strong parking lot brawl. When Granny tried to break it up, in came that chokehold. Mayhem ensued. I can only guess that copious amounts of alcohol contributed to the ridiculousness.

What could the dear bride and groom do? They bolted to the Bahamas for their honeymoon. Cool. Bet that’ll be a relaxing vacation.

What do you think: unfortunate sitch or plan a re-do hitch?

(photo courtesy of WTSP.com)